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As Lama Tsongkhapa explained in The Hymns of Experience of the Graduated Path to Enlightenment, Lama Tsongkhapa's own experience of the graduated path to enlightenment: “Even if we don't know so much about the meditation of the generation stage and completion stage (accomplishment stage) on the path of the secret mantra, even if we are just doing very rough visualizations and having a rough understanding as we go over the sadhana…….” Normally what we do when we meditate on the tantric path is, as we do the longer version of the sadhana, that many words, we try to do a rough visualization of the actual body of Yamantaka.

“Even if the visualizations are not clear, even if the concentration doesn't last, in each actual session the most important thing, in order to not waste time, is to try, by the pure attitude, at least to make that action become Dharma.” I think the most important thing when you do tantra meditations such as this retreat is to not miss the three principles of the path, the lam rim. What makes tantra special is lam rim. What makes tantra the quick path to achieve enlightenment is lam rim, the three principles of the path.

Normally what Lama Tsongkhapa emphasizes in the lam rim teachings, what we always hear from lamas giving lam rim and tantra teachings, is that meditating on the self generation - generating yourself as the deity, the kyerim, the graduated path of generation - without bodhichitta cannot become the cause to achieve enlightenment. Without the renunciation of samsara it cannot even become the cause of liberation. Without shunyata, meditating or generating yourself as a deity doesn't become even the remedy for samsara. It becomes the cause of samsara.

Some nights ago, Lama Gyu“pa was telling me the story of a person who did the great three-year, three-month Yamantaka retreat seven times in his life. What happened was that he was killed by thieves and born as a very powerful spirit who was entering through people and making predictions. Somebody saw this spirit as a very strong looking well-dressed monk, like a Geshe, with a bald head and everything. He had done the great Yamantaka retreat seven times in his life. There are many stories like this. He had much perseverance to do retreat but was born as a spirit. If he hadn't got angry when he was killed by the thief, he wouldn't have been born as a spirit. If he had practiced patience at that time, he wouldn't have been born like that.

I think he probably generated so much power by reciting much mantra. A person also gets much power by concentrating on the visualization of himself as the deity. For that kind of rebirth to happen, normally the person has done much tantric retreat, visualizing himself as the deity and reciting mantra, but hasn't understood the lam rim. The person hasn't understood how to perfectly practice, how to do the retreat, how to practice tantra to make it the quick path to enlightenment.

Many of these practices become partial practice. One part of the practice, the basic fundamental practice of the three principles of the path, is left out. The person did much tantra meditation but probably did not take care of the renunciation, bodhicitta and sunyata parts. He didn't pay attention to these, or maybe he didn't understand. Tantra should be practiced with the thought of sunyata, with bodhicitta and with renunciation.

Those kinds of beings have done much retreat, but are born as spirits. It could be like that. I think that even without the realizations of bodhicitta, without the three principles of the path to enlightenment, you may be able to have the gross kyerim and subtle kyerim. You may be able to have the realizations of one-pointedness concentration and clarity, and be able to concentrate on the whole deity's mandala the size of a sesame seed or as small as a mustard seed. Through the progression of concentration, you may be able to visualize in a ball of light. I think even without bodhicitta, sunyata and the three principles of the path, you could have a certain achievement of dzogrim. You could have some achievement like generating the six yogas of Naropa, generating heat or even bringing the seed as Hindus can do. But I think, without sunyata, there's no way to achieve the clear light of example, the subtle mind realizing the Prasangika right view.

The sunyata has to be the Prasangika view. The Mind-Only doctrine and those other views like Madhyamika Svatantrika can be used; you can meditate on and practice those other views of sunyata, but at this stage there's no way to develop without the realization of the Prasangika. This is the actual right view which is perfectly, exactly according to the reality of how things are empty. It is not just some part of emptiness, but complete emptiness. Without any mistake, it is the subtle right view, subtle dependent arising. This is Prasangika subtle dependent arising. You have to have the Prasangika view because without it, the clear light, that subtle mind cannot cut the delusions. That clear light subtle mind cannot remove the delusions without realizing the Prasangika right view.

Although maybe not reaching the clear light of example or the clear light of meaning, someone can have the achievement of a certain level of dzogrim, and then be born as a spirit because of not having practiced bodhicitta and not having sunyata. Mainly not having bodhicitta. I think it might be like that. According to some stories that happened in Tibet, one very high lama was killed by the Tibetan government and was born as a very powerful spirit. There are stories like that. Even many other high lamas could not burn that spirit. They did pujas trying to burn it, but even though they could hook the spirit, it was difficult to burn it. Somehow some interference came when they did the fire puja, and the spirit escaped.

The spirit was so powerful because he had done much retreat, and maybe even attained a certain level of dzogrim. This is just my guess. That lama achieved a certain power, but due to political reasons he was killed, and born as a spirit. Some other lamas did the wrathful fire puja and tried to burn that spirit in the fire. They were able to hook the spirit, but then some distraction came. The spirit showed some distraction in the sky, like those lamas' houses or monasteries being burned. Because of this, the lama performing the fire puja could not concentrate. A little bit of distraction happened and the spirit found a way to escape. Emphasis during the retreat -Bodhicitta and shunyata So the emphasis during such times as this retreat, when we do meditations on the deity, is that at the beginning, in the middle and at the end, all the time, the sadhana and the tantric meditation are done on the basis of the three principles of the path. From the very beginning the meditation on the deity is done with bodhicitta and sunyata. Even in the middle there's the dharmakaya meditation. Constantly, when you make offerings, all the time, there's sunyata meditation. The main practice is to not miss these three while we are doing the sadhana and the meditations on the deity. These three are basic. We have to do these the most carefully; pay the most attention to these. The second thing is the deity and the particular tantric meditation.

It doesn't matter if the visualization is not clear; that's not the point. There's more danger if you are not careful with the three principles of the path. There's not that much danger in not having clear visualization of the deity. In the sadhana there's a lot of this and that: cemeteries, Australia, Sydney. I'm joking. But I think we have to know what is the most important part in the sadhana. By knowing which is more dangerous if it doesn't get practiced, the practice comes very neat, good and perfect. Otherwise, even if you have such extremely clear visualization that you feel you can almost touch or grab the deities, so clear you might think you are Yamantaka, if the practice of sunyata and dependent arising is missing, I think that alone is not so much surprise.

During this retreat what we as beginners are doing is the deity meditation, but actually our expectation should be to generate bodhicitta, realize sunyata, or at least impermanence and death. Our expectation should be like that. We are doing tantra retreat but, if we have this expectation, I think it's very very good. This attitude is unmistaken. It's the attitude which makes the practice pure all the time. If you are just thinking: “Maybe I'll get some power, and through this I might see the deity at night time and get some predictions. Or the deity might give me a present - Yamantaka's tigu or skullcup …..” Story of the boy lamsang Student: I never thought to ask. Rinpoche: That makes me remember one boy at Kopan who came to cook in my small kitchen; his name is Lamsang. The new cook, Pemba, likes him very much because they get along very well. This Lamsang got dreams at night time of one old man with a white beard, sometimes with a stick. Sometimes he manifested as a small child. This old man asked Lamsang: “What do you want? I will give you whatever you want.”

Four-armed Mahakala manifests like that, like a sadhu, with a beard. I thought Lamsang must be saying some Mahakala prayer before going to bed. I asked him and he said, yes, at that time he was memorizing this Mahakala prayer. He used to recite this before going to bed. When this old man kept on coming, asking: “What do you want?”, he didn't know what to answer. He couldn't remember what to mention to him; he couldn't give an answer. So I told him: “Now, if you see the old man again and he asks, then you should ask him for help to complete Dharma practice and bodhicitta. This is the help you should ask.”

After that he came several nights, sometimes as an old man, sometimes as a child. Then one night in Lamsang's dream, the two skeleton protectors like in Vajrayogini came dancing. Lamsang put one under his feet, he stepped on it; and one ran away. He was able to step on one skeleton, but the other one ran away. The old man came and told Lamsang: “I'll come again. I'll go away for some time, and then I'll come back.” After he said that Lamsang didn't dream about him any more. Now Lamsang doesn't live in the monastery; he didn't come back, so I don't know what happened. His parents sent him to Sikkhim, to His Holiness Karmapa's monastery. When Max mentioned that he never thought to ask, I remembered this story. Lamsang is a very nice boy, having the aspect of much faith in Dharma.

The aim we should have, even if we have these realizations, is to develop them and, especially if we don't have them, to get them. This is very good. Even though you're reciting mantra, even though you're doing deity meditations, this is your aim. This is where your whole energy is. This is your emphasis, your expectation. Whatever you do within the retreat is always done with the three principles of the path. These are always practiced: during the beginning, during the middle, at recitation time, at the end, in the break time, all the time.

Practising the three principles of the path is the main thing which pleases the deity and brings you closer to the deity. Otherwise, however much we recite mantra but practice opposite to the three principles of the path, it does not become even the cause of liberation from samsara. It becomes the cause of samsara. It doesn't even become holy Dharma. To be really near and to really please the deity, to get to be really nearer and nearer, is difficult.

So during this time do strong lam rim practice. Of course, when there's limitation of time and you have to finish the retreat very soon, it's different. Otherwise, spend as much time as possible on the three principles of the path, on lam rim. That is the whole key: strong meditation on perfect human rebirth, impermanence and death, then bodhicitta, and then sunyata.

Sunyata comes in the beginning before you generate yourself as the deity; sunyata comes in the middle. All the way through there's sunyata meditation: meditation with dependent arising, space, dharmakaya. During this retreat see if you can realize sunyata. Try to have at least the realization of impermanence and death, or guru devotion, or bodhicitta. Try to have one of these attainments. 
        

Dependent Arising - meditation In the dharmakaya meditation try many different ways. Sometimes try to think more on dependent arising. In your mind there's no body, nothing left, just the consciousness left. What appears is empty, and what you understand is that nothing exists by its own nature, nothing exists from its own side. Sometimes think that consciousness doesn't have form: “There's no body, no form at all”, and then watch the I. What is actually there is consciousness, the subtle consciousness. Even the subtle very fine point nada form has disappeared.

Sometimes think more on dependent arising. There's no I existing at all, except what is merely labeled on the consciousness. If the understanding of emptiness doesn't come, then you try the other way round: dependent arising. You work the other way round by concentrating on dependent arising. While ordinary emptiness, space, not having form, is appearing, if you're understanding emptiness then nothing - I and things - exists from its own side. If you don't feel this then try to get the idea of emptiness by working the other way round, by thinking more on dependent arising.

Think more on subtle dependent arising: that I is only labeled, there's no I existing at all from its own side, except only what is labeled on the consciousness. When you think “except only the I which is labeled on the base consciousness”, you see as empty the I which is appearing from its own side, the real I for your mind. It doesn't exist. This comes in your mind as a result.

So, somehow, try to work it out. While emptiness space is appearing - not having any form, not having any physical substance, the appearance of ordinary emptiness - still you feel that there's an I from its own side. Somewhere inside there's an I. Try to think as much as possible that in fact this is empty, like a mirage. While you are looking at the mirage, the appearance of water, your mind is aware of the fact that it's empty of water. While you are focusing on the I, the I that exists from its own side, think that in fact this is empty, this is false. This doesn't exist at all. I don't exist at all. I doesn't exist at all.

Try for your whole mind to take that part, to take that side that I doesn't exist at all. Completely decide as much as possible that I doesn't exist. While there's the appearance of space, not having substance - the body and everything, even the nada absorbed - completely decide: “I don't exist at all”. One hundred percent, as much as possible decide that.

Just keep on thinking: “I don't exist”. Then as you carry on, completely deciding “I don't exist”, if fear starts to rise, it's a very good sign. That means it's working. What you are thinking is hurting the ignorance of the truly existent I (dagdzin). It is harming that. If fear is coming then especially you should continue more. It's a sign of success, so you should continue. You should try as many different ways as the teachings you have received. You should use the lamas' advice. Try in many ways to have at least the experience of sunyata, emptiness. Try to get the meaning of emptiness, the unification of emptiness and dependent arising that Lama Tsongkhapa talks about, in your mind.

During this retreat time if you do Yamantaka retreat but you have the experience of sunyata, this is terrific, excellent. It has great worth. If not sunyata, then impermanence and death. At least by doing tantra retreat, have some lam rim realization. We haven't achieved the deity yet, but to achieve the deity, first of all we have to achieve bodhicitta. Without impermanence and death, no way to have this realization. Without the former realizations, no way to get the others. Since having the realization of impermanence and death during this retreat is a step in the process to achieve the deity, it's like achieving the deity.

Pray very hard from the depths of your heart, often, again and again, in the breaktimes, during the sessions, at the beginning and end of the sessions. At the end of the sessions when you dedicate the merit, also dedicate to generate the lam rim realizations. Pray very hard to the deity. If you're doing Vajrayogini retreat, pray to Vajrayogini; if you're doing Tara, to Tara. You're doing Yamantaka, so pray to Yamantaka. Whichever retreat you're doing, pray to that deity many times a day.

In the morning, even to generate the motivation by remembering just this one stanza of Lama Tsongkhapa is extremely beneficial. It is so powerful. One night, before the cho” initiation, Gomo Rinpoche recited this stanza for the motivation. I find The Hymns of Experience of the Graduated Path to Enlightenment very very effective for the mind. When you read the different sections of other lam rim prayers, even though they're talking about the same thing, have the same essence, Lama Tsongkhapa's teachings, the arrangement of Lama Tsongkhapa's words, are unbelievable, so rich. It's so short but condensed, containing so much meaning.

Student: How is it best to do lam rim during the mantra time? Is it best to work out a program and do a different subject each day? Or is it better to do lam rim bit by bit, and then go back to the beginning? I don't know if that's effective or not, just starting one thing and then doing something else after that. How do you make it more effective? Rinpoche: Pabongka Dechen Nyingpo Rinpoche explained it like this: you can divide the lam rim subjects with the sessions to complete the whole lam rim within two weeks. This is generally for the mind to make the effortful experience. Effortful experience means you work it like that, from guru devotion up to sunyata, back and forth, until you understand the whole subject.

First of all you try to understand the whole subject. That is called nyay mong du cha“pa. It's like when you are running a center, people question: “Is everything under your control?” You have all the understandings. On the basis of the outlines you are able to tell what the subject is. That's the first thing.

The second thing is making the effortful experience. This means that you do this for some time, months or years, back and forth. You can do retreat dividing the lam rim within two weeks with Vajrayogini, Yamantaka or any sadhana. You have a program like this, even longer or even shorter. Until it becomes like this: “I can generate the realization of any subject on which I train my mind.” It is said that when it comes to this point you start to have the effortless experience from the beginning of lam rim, from perfect human rebirth. Do the direct meditations. Go over the outlines each day; train the mind more. You spend one month on perfect human rebirth, or impermanence and death. Try to have the actual realization, the effortless experience. Even if it takes years, you just train in that. Strong Practise–Story of Sera Ngakpa Sera Ngakpa, who lives just down there, was one of these dopdop monks in Tibet. They don't study, only fight and do high-jumping and wear their robes a little bit strangely. I was very interested as to why Sera Ngakpa changed from being a dopdop, so I asked him while he was telling the story of his life to me the other day. He said that before Tibet was taken over by the Chinese, our Tibetan government gave orders to all three colleges that they were no longer allowed to have dopdops. Drepung monastery dopdops wanted to compete with the Sera dopdops, but the Drepung monks had already canceled the competition. The Drepung monks had stopped the dopdops so they had nobody to compete. There were no Drepung dopdops; they had all changed. So I think that's what made Sera Ngakpa change to not being a dopdop.

After one year Tibet was overtaken by the Chinese, so he came here. He took gelong ordination here in Dharamsala, and then went to see His Holiness Trijang Rinpoche. He told His Holiness he wanted to live here somewhere and do sadhanas (he means to do retreat). His Holiness said: “What about your food?” Sera Ngakpa told His Holiness: “Oh, I can live from begging.” That pleased His Holiness very much; it made His Holiness very happy that Sera Ngakpa had decided to live from begging.

His Holiness told Sera Ngakpa to do Yamantaka retreat, to do 500,000 ARAPATSAs, I think; the most of this mantra, and then the others maybe not so much. His Holiness told him: “You are very dull; your wisdom is very dull. Even though reciting all this mantra doesn't bring benefit now, it might benefit you in the future.” That made me laugh because of the way His Holiness said: “Even though it doesn't benefit now, it will benefit in the future.” Anyway, His Holiness told Sera Ngakpa he was very dull, and to do the retreat very slowly.

Sera Ngakpa did this retreat at the rock where the water tank is. He lived there for five years, or something like that. There was another meditator there, before the Tibetans came here to Dharamsala. He sounds like a drubtop. There are different levels of drubtop but, at the least, it means a completely pure ascetic. I don't know whether he was a monk or not, but he was there before the Tibetans came. He lived under that rock and used to live on begging. The Indians say he was Tibetan.

So, Sera Ngakpa lived there and did Yamantaka retreat. He said that in certain months much heat and vapor come up from the ground, but otherwise it's OK. He checked whether he would get food or not if he went to beg. He wasn't sure. One day he went begging in the village and got plenty of food, much much food, like flour, so he did retreat there.

The superintendent's wife told us the story that there were a lot of spirits at the water tank because one policeman had died there. She was saying one meditator, a monk who lived under the rock, did much puja and then the spirit violence stopped. When he started doing puja, all the spirits stopped. The police were very happy because even they were scared. The police were watching the water, looking after the tank, because the water went to His Holiness. I think that's why they needed to watch it.

It looks like that meditator was Sera Ngakpa. They felt he was very powerful. Sera Ngakpa was doing much ritual doing Yamantaka retreat. The policemen were very happy that they didn't have this spirit violence any more at night time. One policeman had died there and was born as a spirit. These police asked Sera Ngakpa to come to sleep with them at night time because they had heard there was spirit violence. Some police asked; some didn't. At the beginning he got left-over lunch from the police, then after some time they changed and gave him fresh food, not the left-overs. They gave him six or seven chapattis when they got them from the main house. Then a policeman asked Sera Ngakpa if he could come to live at his house for one year. It was not in Dharamsala, but somewhere down there. Sera Ngakpa went to ask H.H. Trijang Rinpoche. “This policeman asked me to come and live at his house. Is it OK, or not?” His Holiness said: “Yes, you should go. There's no expectation to receive anything from you; it's just because you are a monk. It will plant a good seed in his mind if you go to stay at his house.” So Sera Ngakpa went there to stay. He said he read lam rim texts and did refuge practice at the Indian man's house. They gave him food. Student: He didn't become guru to the Indian policeman? Rinpoche: I think they just liked him. He's a simple sentient being, and just has a good feeling. I think that's the main thing. They just liked to have him at the house, for him to be near. Maybe for them it's a protection, I'm not sure. I think many people do that, kind of taking refuge, a sort of protection. Student: How did the first policeman die? Rinpoche: By eating momos. While half was eaten, the other half of the momo was left in his hand. No, I'm joking! I don't know.

It doesn't seem Sera Ngakpa understands much; he hasn't studied much. He doesn't understand even the details about lam rim, but I think what he understands he practices very strongly. Student: What does he do now? Rinpoche: He's sending beams to all the sentient beings. Purifying Thubten Pemo but finding it difficult to purify her, finding it difficult to make the beams reach her. Thubten Pemo: To reach is OK; to penetrate is more difficult.

Even if you are doing another retreat, when you do the effortful experience, rather than just spending all the time on perfect human rebirth - its usefulness and all that - it's good, I think, as the subjects are always related to each other, to do it like this: one week on perfect human rebirth, then one week on its usefulness, one week mostly on the difficulty of finding it, then one week mostly on impermanence and death. You could do that, or just the whole time on one thing, like impermanence and death; doing only that for one week or one month or whatever, until the realization comes.

Do that until there's uncertainty. Until you're not just saying the words but have a little bit of faith that you may not live tomorrow. Until you think from the heart: “I might die tomorrow.” Gen Jampa Wangdu says that even rising the thought: “I may not live next month” is difficult. It's difficult nowadays to rise such an experience. Sometimes you get the feeling: “I may not live more than a month. For sure I'm going to die after a month.”

At the beginning there may be the conception to always live very long. This conception is the normal one, you know, the wrong conception of permanence. The more we think of the actual time of death as indefinite, by always thinking of the way of dying and the three reasons why the actual time of death is indefinite, the more the appearance of this life gets shorter and shorter.

First of all you think: “I will live thirty or forty years, many years”. Then it gets shorter and shorter, until you think: “I won't live after one month”. It's a feeling that comes from the depths of the heart. Even if somebody speaks to you about doing some activity next month or next year, as if you're going to live, it makes you laugh.

The appearance of this life gets shorter and shorter. You get a very strong feeling that death's going to happen, even tomorrow. Those feelings, I think, could be counted as part of the realization of the indefinite time of death. In the morning you think: “I may not live until night time”. There's uncertainty in the mind about work and food, everything. If you buy a sack of tsampa there's the uncertainty as to whether you will live to finish the sack of tsampa that is in the kitchen. “It's very uncertain that I will live.”

I think the Kadampa geshes' appearance of this life is even shorter. For them there's nothing definite in even the duration of drinking tea or going outside for pipi. They have uncertainty about coming back. They have a much shorter appearance of this life. That's what Kadampa Geshe Potawa was saying: “Not even having time to take the thorn from the body”. You see, it takes some time to take it out. The thorn goes inside the flesh, and to take it out takes some time. They don't even take the time for that because there's the thought that death may happen even during that time.

I think when at least the very strong feeling comes: “I may not live; I might die tomorrow”, this can be counted as the realization of impermanence and death. But that feeling has to be continued. If you don't carry on any experience of meditation that comes, such as impermanence and death, if you think about it for a few days then don't think for several months, the mind goes back to normal again. Like after a storm. Again you don't have much feeling for impermanence and death. The most important thing, I think, is to carry on the experience.

Many times we do have some experiences: not the actual realization of guru devotion, of seeing the essence of the guru as Buddha, but similar to it. All of a sudden from the depths of your heart, there's the recognition 100% that your guru is Buddha. Even though he's in an ordinary aspect, a human form, and doesn't appear as Buddha, for your mind there's the recognition 100% that he's Buddha.

This is like the realization, but it may not be the actual realization which is stable and accomplished by using logic and quotations. By working very hard using logic and quotations, what is accomplished is the stable understanding that the essence of the guru is Buddha. Sometimes due to what you are doing, like cleaning the guru's rooms or certain activities like that, such an experience may come. I think it is a blessing; it is a sign of having entered the blessing of the guru when you discover these experiences suddenly happening. If you carry on from this, if you build it up, if you preserve it, and spend more time thinking with much effort of the quotations and the reasons, then it leads to the actual realization.

I think the continuation is the most important thing and, of course, that's the most difficult one. That continuation is the most difficult, and it looks like it's the most important. What is the most difficult is the most important. These sudden experiences are the guru blessing the mindstream of the disciple. Like at certain times when you do retreat, you feel much repentance of your mistakes done in the past. Those feelings are also blessings entering the mind.

Student: Does the actual realization mean these thoughts develop and are there all the time? That they're never separated from the mind? Rinpoche: I think the actual realization is more stable than these sudden experiences that come. For the actual realization, month by month and year by year, you work very hard with all the reasons, quotations, stories or whatever, all together. The actual realization comes by working hard, and it's more stable. But I think even with that, you still need to remember, you still need to work a little bit to preserve the experience. Continue and continue, otherwise you lose it. Student: When someone has the realization of impermanence and death, does that mean that all day and night, this thought: “I'm going to die” is spontaneously arising? Rinpoche: Yes, yes, yes. Student: All day and night spontaneously, effortlessly thinking: “I'm going to die”? That would be the realization of impermanence and death? Rinpoche: Yes. Student: How would you ever do anything, Rinpoche, if you really felt that? Seriously. If you really believed you were going to die, why would you do anything? Why even go to the next room to get your sadhana if you're going to die? If you really believed that, why would you go? How does it all fit? If you really believe that in the next moment you're going to die, then you wouldn't even bother to go to the toilet. You wouldn't go and get your dorje and bell, or your sadhana. Rinpoche: You wouldn't recite mantra? Student: You'd just sit there and think: “I'm going to die”. Rinpoche: That doesn't make any sense. No. That means that you're not understanding. That means you have the thought of death, but the purpose of remembering death, your aim in thinking of death is lost. This is the same as the animal that is going to be killed. He knows he is going to die, but just has no solution. Nothing. It's the same. If he's going to die tonight, somebody who understands Dharma will think of the most skilful thing that should be done. Somebody who doesn't know Dharma will just think: “Oh, I'm going to die”. That's all. Student: I didn't mean that, Rinpoche. If you really think: “I'm definitely going to die in the next moment”, then you'd get rid of everything. You'd just sit there meditating, waiting for it to happen. Rinpoche: So? Student: People don't! People with this realization go on with ordinary activities. How do the two things work together? Student B: At a certain point you'd get hungry. Student C: But you're not necessarily going to die! Student A: Of course not! But if you think you are, if you really believe ….. Rinpoche: Heh! Do you think His Holiness should stop all his activities? That's ridiculous! Student A: That's different. Rinpoche: What's different? Do you think His Holiness should stop all his activities? Student A: It's like they say: if you're renting a house you don't bother to fix it up because you know you're definitely going to leave. So if you really think that you're definitely going to die, why cook lunch? Rinpoche: So should His Holiness stop everything? Stop all activities and plans? Student: I don't know. Maybe not him, but other people. Ordinary people who are supposed to generate this realization. Rinpoche: Then? Then? Student: It's true! If you really believe you're going to die, there's no point in doing anything. Rinpoche: There's no point to practice Dharma? Student: No, no! You'd practice Dharma. You'd just sit there …Rinpoche: So, so! Aren't you saying there's no point to do anything? Student: No. There's no point to doing any normal activities. Rinpoche: OK. The whole thing is that you're not thinking of the purpose of practising. You're not thinking of the purpose of thinking of death. You have lost that part, you know, the purpose. That's why in The Hymns of Experience of the Graduated Path it says: “Therefore there's need to take the essence…” I was going to go over this quotation actually, but at the very last.

“Therefore there's need to take the essence day and night, all the time.” Before that line it's about death, how the life is short and all that. The whole purpose of impermanence and death is that having this realization makes you see no point in doing any non-virtuous action. It makes you see as childish nonsense doing any non-virtuous actions, any works of this life (which means non-virtuous actions). Having these realizations gives a lot of time for practising Dharma, a lot of time to make preparation. It's easy to create the cause for happiness, to make preparations for beyond this life up to enlightenment. But it gives no time to do meaningless works, non-virtuous actions. That's why Lama Tsongkhapa emphasizes how important the shortness of this life is. Then, with that realization, you take the essence day and night, all the time.

Without that realization of impermanence and death, of the indefinite time of death, the thought to practice Dharma, the thought to transform any action into Dharma, doesn't happen. To make it Dharma, either the action is completely for others, out of bodhicitta, or you use the action to achieve liberation or the happiness of this next life. None of these happen if the person has the concept all the time that he will live such a long time. Since the mind is occupied by the wrong conception of permanence, it has no space for the thought of impermanence and the shortage of life. Where there's no thought of the shortage of life, there's no thought to practice Dharma. As the person believes he'll live long, he spends more time working for this life, than working for the future lives, and working for other sentient beings.

I'll give one example. Lama Tsongkhapa explained in Lam Rim Chenmo that even an animal has the thought of death. That's useless because they don't practice Dharma, they don't know .pl70 Dharma. Just the thought of death alone is useless if we don't practice Dharma. If we don't use that thought for practising Dharma, it's like the animals, like the people who haven't met Dharma, being scared of death. It's the same. That's useless. For those who don't have Dharma understanding, for those who do not practice Dharma, the thought of death is useless. For those who have met Dharma, thinking of impermanence and death is the method to continuously be able to practice Dharma, and to not waste the life.

It's the method to stop negative karma; it's the basic thing. By having this thought: “I might die at any time”, the person is very careful in his actions. It gives the courage to stop non-virtue because he doesn't see any point in doing it. He has strong courage. Without difficulties he is able to practice the ten virtuous actions, the opposite of the ten non-virtues. By the power of understanding that the actual time of death is indefinite, he is able to practice the ten virtuous actions and moral conduct.

The whole basic thing is that even is you are concerned about the happiness of future lives, even if you are concerned about nirvana, even if you are concerned about enlightenment, what makes you strong in your practice is impermanence and death. Impermanence and death is the most important thing.

                             ooOoo

Sometimes it's good, in the mornings for example, to start the motivation on the basis of these stanzas from The Hymns of Experience of the Graduated Path to Enlightenment by Lama Tsongkhapa, which reveal the path of the lower capable being: “This body having freedom is much more precious than a wish-granting jewel. To find a body such as this is only this time. It's extremely difficult to find but easily decayed, easily perishable, like lightning in the sky. By thinking and reflecting this way, you should realize all worldly works as a husk, and take the essence all day and night. The venerable guru did the practice this way and also I, who am seeking liberation, request you to be able to practice like this.”

Use this verse as the root and make your own commentary on it. Even though short, Lama Tsongkhapa's words are very rich, having great taste and very deep meaning. Very extensive meanings which are very effective for the mind are condensed in one or two words. The way words are put together in Lama Tsongkhapa's teachings shows very clearly any teaching on sutra or tantra. They pick up the most important points of practice; they show very clearly the importance of practising the essence.

Other lam rim texts have great detail on how to offer mandalas, set out the offerings, visualize the merit field, the six preparatory practices and so on. In the great commentary of Lam Rim Chenmo, Lama Tsongkhapa doesn't explain the various details of the meaning of the preliminary practices as in other texts. For example, in the section of the mandala offering of the seven limbs, Lama Tsongkhapa says just a few words: “Offer the mandala with clear visualization.” That's all it has. For the mandala and such practices, how much merit you accumulate depends on how clearly and how much you visualize, on how much you can think. With mandalas, the essential technique to accumulate extensive merit is clear visualization. That's all Lama Tsongkhapa says. He doesn't go into the details that you wipe three times, all those many details.

In many teachings, Lama Tsongkhapa elaborates and clarifies the most difficult points of which even learned ones cannot understand the subtle meanings. That's why the section on sunyata - the shine and lhagtong sections - is the most elaborate. That's his particular holy action. All the various lam rim texts are very effective for the mind, but any teaching by Lama Tsongkhapa is of a different taste, unbelievably rich.

In The Three Principles of the Path, the verses about realization of bodhicitta and sunyata are so effective, and very moving for the mind. They go in the depth of the heart. If you read The Hymns of Experience of the Graduated Path to Enlightenment thoughtfully, it contains all the basic important practices for us as beginners to achieve the whole teaching from beginning to end. Even though you have read lam rim, when you read this one you feel: “Oh! This is something I should practice in everyday life.” Even though the whole teaching is to be practiced, there's something most important and urgent.

It is urgent to prepare today for tomorrow's happiness. If you are going to go camping or on a picnic tomorrow, what preparations should be done today? The immediate important causes, such as the causes of the eight ripened aspect results, that you should create before achieving enlightenment, between this life and enlightenment, are preparation for us to achieve enlightenment tomorrow. Like a boat to cross the river, a bridge to cross from samsara to enlightenment, Lama Tsongkhapa emphasizes creating the eight causes to achieve the eight results.

Lama Tsongkhapa emphasizes how you should continually take the best care, and every day pay the most attention to practising confession and purification. Use the four powers to purify karmic obscurations. It is especially important to purify karmic obscurations. Lama Tsongkhapa says to take great care to continuously practice the four powers, to practice confession perfectly.

“This body which has eight freedoms is much more precious than a wish-granting gem.” I mentioned this earlier, in the perfect human rebirth teachings which were a preliminary for The Eight Verses, completed by Gomo Rinpoche. For each freedom and richness, remember the cold and hot narak and think: “It is impossible to practice Dharma.” Remember their sufferings, then think back: “The state of my mind is like stormy weather. My mind is full of disturbing thoughts; my actions are also karmically negative. My nature is like this, but this time somehow I wasn't born as a narak being. I have the opportunity to practice Buddhadharma. It's unbelievable! It's hard to believe; it's like a dream. According to the state of my mind, my actions, my nature, there's no way to have such an opportunity. I have not been born in the narak, but have a perfect human rebirth and the opportunity to practice Dharma.”

“It's like a dream that I'm not down there in the narak. Not being born as an animal but having the opportunity and freedom to practice Dharma is like a dream. It's amazing! I could be any animal: a scorpion, a mosquito, a frog, a spider, any of the creatures. I could be any of these with no opportunity at all to practice holy Dharma. I'm like this; my nature is like this, but somehow I have the opportunity, the freedom, to practice the Dharma. It's hard to believe!” You should think like that.

Go one by one like this. After that, remembering your own present state of mind and actions creating negative karma, think how amazing it is to have each of these freedoms. Having a perfect human body and freedom to practice is like a dream. Think of each of the freedoms and richnesses like this. Also remember that not making them meaningful for even one minute by not practising Dharma is greater than losing diamonds equal to the number of atoms of this earth. With each minute you can accomplish the three great purposes.

By thinking this way of each of these freedoms and richnesses, it makes you feel: “I have no purpose to follow delusion.” You feel from the heart that you have no connection at all to delusions, that they are completely nonsense. You feel it from the heart. It breaks the connection between you and the delusions. You don't find any essence, any purpose at all in the disturbing thoughts. Even by thinking this, suddenly the disturbing thoughts escape away, like a cloud disappearing in the sky. From the depths of your heart you feel that they are completely nonsense. You have no connection, nothing to do with delusions.

“The eight freedoms and ten richnesses, each of them extremely rare, are all here together. I've received all eighteen! Just this time I've been able to gather all these eighteen together.” Again feel how unbelievably precious it is. Much more precious even than before when you were going over them one by one. Feel how each minute is precious, a greater loss than losing uncountable wish-granting jewels equaling the number of atoms in this earth. It's a much greater loss than that.

The result should come in the mind that there's no point at all to follow disturbing thoughts. There's not even the slightest interest to follow them. It's like breaking the connection. If a person is either an object of attachment or an enemy, at certain times, because of some change, you see no point at all in dealing with that person. You feel: “I want nothing to do with that person.” So, like that, you don't see any point to following disturbing thoughts. You see it's complete nonsense to follow them.

After thinking on the perfect human rebirth, this feeling should come: “In this world, nothing is more precious than this perfect human rebirth of mine. It's the most precious thing.” You can't stand to be not doing Dharma practice, not transforming your actions into Dharma. If you cannot change the action to something else, then you transform the action you're doing right now into Dharma. Let's say, you can't prostrate in a plane or on a bus, so you transform being on the plane into Dharma. You can't stand not practising Dharma.

Then, as I explained before, we have wasted the life so much. Besides not having any realizations of lam rim, we're not even practising Dharma. How much time has been wasted without our actions becoming the cause of liberation or enlightenment! Most become non-virtue. By thinking of the great purpose that can be achieved with this perfect human rebirth, the conclusion that should come is a feeling of great waste if time is passed, even one hour or one minute, without practising Dharma. Feel a great loss, like having lost $1000, or dropping a sack of gold in the water.

If you feel that even a short time, an hour or a minute, passed without practising Dharma is a great loss, you have the realization of the perfect human rebirth. You have the realization of the usefulness of, and also the difficulty of finding, the perfect human rebirth. Pabongka Dechen Nyingpo used the example that if you have this feeling, you have the realization of the usefulness of the perfect human rebirth.

It's similar for the difficulty of finding a perfect human rebirth. To find that much gold or that many dollars is difficult, so you feel a great loss. Similarly, the perfect human rebirth is received only once and is difficult to find again. You feel a great loss if even for one hour, or a few minutes, you don't get to practice holy Dharma.

The conclusion is: nothing else is important. Everything else is garbage, even things regarded as public service such as hospital work and teaching in schools. All other works in the world are garbage, except training the mind to generate the lam rim realizations. Of course, it's excellent to train the mind in lam rim and to do public service or generous actions at the same time. If you're able to do them together, it's excellent. But otherwise, if you cannot generate lam rim realizations, if you miss this section, even though these other things are regarded in the world as good, experimenting on the path generating lam rim realizations is the most important and the most precious among the virtuous actions.

Of course, it's better to do virtuous actions than non-virtuous ones. But if you don't experiment on the path, it's not actually making your life meaningful. By training the mind in lam rim realizations, you achieve something in this life. It has an end, a completion. There's no way to accomplish the extensive works for sentient beings without actualizing lam rim in your mind. By thinking on the three great purposes and how much your perfect human rebirth has been wasted, the conclusion should come in the mind that the most precious thing is actualizing the lam rim path.

The rest of the things, even those many other virtuous activities, are not the essence. As Pabongka Dechen Nyingpo says: “Spending the life only in ngo”ndro practices like prostrations, but not training the mind in the actual body of the lam rim, is still not the meaning of the human life. It's better than recitations, but it's still not the best.” If you don't train your mind in lam rim, it doesn't have that much great meaning. It's not so skilful, according to Pabongka Rinpoche, to spend your whole life doing recitations, Vajrasattva or prostrations instead of training your mind in lam rim. If you have this attitude, you put effort and in this way realizations come. You know what is the most important and most precious among the practices, and in life.

That's what I thought during this retreat that I did at Kopan. I have done retreat many times before, and I don't know why, but during this retreat the thought came into my mind that so far all this traveling around trying to do the action of teaching has been a wasted life. It didn't have essence. Other people say: “Oh, you're doing good, and blah, blah, blah”, so you believe in that and you cheat yourself. A complete waste of life. Some teachings could be virtue, but that's not enough. In the recent retreat at Kopan it came like this, but in previous times I had a different experience.

So the first line: “This body with freedom is much more precious than a wish-granting jewel”, is finished. Then the second line: “To find such as this is about only this time”. It's so difficult to find in the next life. You may think: “Even if I can't generate bodhicitta, sunyata or tantric realizations in this life, I can try to get lam rim realizations next life.” That is on the basis of the certainty you're going to have a perfect human rebirth next life. It's a good idea, but you have to find it first. That is the question. It's good to plan to practice next life but, by examining the causes of perfect moral conduct, charity and prayer, you can see that to find the body is extremely difficult.

Even if I do accumulate virtue, it's so weak; non-virtue is so much more powerful, so much stronger. So it's difficult to make plans to get realizations next life. If I don't get some lam rim work done now while I have a perfect human rebirth, if I don't get realizations on this perfect human rebirth, there's no hope in my next life, and after that. If I don't get lam rim realizations this life, that's it! Finished. Lama Tsongkhapa says: “To find such a body is about only this time”. Therefore I should make it possible for what is called enlightenment to happen this life. If I can't generate what is called bodhicitta this life, then when can I?

It's the same for renunciation, sunyata, patience and the six paramitas. “If I don't practice now, then when should I practice? If I don't practice patience now, this moment, while someone has anger towards me, is disturbing me and giving me the opportunity, if I don't practice now while someone's giving me the chance, then when? If I don't bear hardships to practice Dharma now, on this perfect human rebirth, when should I? If I don't practice perseverance now, then when? If I don't practice thought training today, then when should I practice?” Whatever is the best, most beneficial thing, I should do now with this perfect human rebirth.

By thinking that the perfect human rebirth is only this one time, you should make the conclusion: “Every capability that I have, every intelligence and skill, should be used to generate lam rim realizations and bodhicitta in this life.” You should make a conclusion to do whatever is the most beneficial thing.

The next line is: “Extremely difficult to find again, so perishable, like lightning in the sky.” The other way of meditating on impermanence and death is like lightning in the sky. When death happens, you see whatever life you had, whether a suffering or happy life, from birthtime until now, like last night's dream. Very short, like lightning. You see this present life like lightning in the sky. Just short, very short.

When you're walking on a road, there's an appearance during a flash of lightning of trees, people, the road, other pleasant or unpleasant things, for a short time. When you die this is how you see your life: from birth to death, like lightning in the sky. It's finished so quickly. Apply the appearance during the lightning to the appearance of this life. It's so short, so extremely short.

This example is very helpful for thinking about sunyata. When it's completely dark, you don't label because you don't see a base. But when suddenly there's lightning, you see and think: “Oh, there's this tree, this person.” Your thought labels on each of these bases. Due to the light, an appearance of a base comes and suddenly you label: good, bad, ugly, this and that. Even during this short time, anger or attachment comes. As soon as the appearance of the base comes, you label. If you apply this example to this life: from birthtime until death, everything is like this. Friend, enemy or stranger, the whole thing, including myself, is like this. Due to some condition like light a base appears and thought labels: families, friends, enemies and possessions. The whole thing is like that.

This appearance is very short. What is appearing to us now, Tushita, can be stopped, dissolved, at any moment. This appearance can be stopped tonight, tomorrow, at any moment. You can see it's labeled. By the appearance of the base, you label. One is called enemy, one is called friend. “There's no point to get attached to this one, or angry at this one. This appearance is so short. It doesn't make any sense for me to be attached to, or angry at this person by recognizing him as an enemy.”

To think this way, applying the lightning appearance to this present life, is very effective. The appearance is not only labeled, but so short. It makes you see that there's completely no sense to following attachment and anger. You completely renounce them as childish. The perfect human rebirth is so short, and being born as a human being can be stopped at any moment. Think: “While I have a perfect human rebirth I must practice by stopping laziness and bearing hardships. With as much capability, skill and intelligence as there is, I must practice Dharma and try to have lam rim realizations.”

Thinking this way is also helpful for understanding how things are merely labeled. Every day, from the morning when we wake up and open our eyes, whatever we see is merely labeled. There's no point to rise disturbing thoughts. Thinking like this stops them.

“By reflecting in this way, realize all worldly activities as a husk.” I use the example of toilet paper which we don't even touch. It's not even an object we want to look at. Besides not doing worldly activities of this life, even rising the thought to do them is completely nonsense. “Take the essence all day and night.” Lama Tsongkhapa says you should not take the essence just in the daytime, and not at night. He emphasizes both day and night. That's why there are the words: “all the time”. There are three things: day, night and all the time. That means to take the essence the whole twenty-four hours.

Taking the essence by practising Dharma is making preparation for future lives. But taking the essence by renouncing samsara and training in liberation is better than that. And training the mind in bodhicitta to attain enlightenment is the best essence, the supreme eminent one. The way to practice bodhicitta is the five powers; a whole lifetime's practice is in this.

Lama Tsongkhapa is saying: “Take the essence day and night, all the time.” Being able to take the essence day and night, without laziness, depends on having the realizations of the previous subjects: perfect human rebirth, its usefulness and difficulty, and especially impermanence and death. Even this appearance of a perfect human rebirth that we have now is very short, and can be stopped at any time. There is nothing definite in the life. There are more conditions for death than for living. Conditions for living can become the cause of death.

There are three outlines: 1) Death is definite. 2) The time of death is uncertain; it can happen at any time. 3) Our bodies are so fragile, like water bubbles. It's so incredibly easy for the four elements to become unbalanced and the health of our body to go wrong.

Before thinking of these outlines, it's good sometimes to think this way: “Even if I live for ten or thirty years more, my life is decreasing without addition. Even during life, death happens without having done Dharma practice. I am getting nearer and nearer to death without practising Dharma.” Think how life is decreasing with each minute, hour, day, month and year.

Put the outlines upside down and think about the indefinite time of death first. “Death can happen at any minute, even now. If death is going to happen tomorrow at 12 o'clock, during lunch, even between now and lunchtime, my life is continuously, second by second, getting nearer to death, nearer and nearer to the narak.” On the basis of remembering negative karma, think “nearer and nearer to the narak”. Otherwise it doesn't make sense to think of the narak. Life is getting shorter and shorter, second by second. “Nearer and nearer to death” and “nearer and nearer to the narak” are the same.

One day is gone, and you're so much nearer to death and the narak. One day is finished and life has become so much shorter. Even at this very moment, time is passing without practising Dharma. You're becoming nearer to the narak even during this time. Thinking this way is more powerful. It becomes stronger. Not just that death is going to happen tomorrow or next month. But that even if you are going to live ten years, one month goes, and so much of your life is finished. You're so much closer to death and the narak. Then one year goes, and you're so much closer to death and the narak.

Life is getting shorter and shorter. It's finishing. When we recite mantra, when we pass each bead, with each mantra, we are nearer to death and nearer to the narak. When we drink tea, with each drop, each mouthful we swallow, we become that much nearer to death and the narak. With each mouthful, the first mouthful, then the second mouthful, we become nearer to death and the narak. When the whole cup of tea is finished, life has become so much nearer to death and the narak. By the time the tea is finished, life has become so much shorter.

Similarly, going to the market. With each step, life becomes that much shorter, that much closer to death and closer to the narak. When you go to McLeod Ganj and come back, your life becomes that much shorter and closer to the narak. When you write a letter, with each syllable you write on the paper, life becomes that much nearer to death and the narak. When you have finished one whole page, your life is so much shorter. It's the same when we read texts. As we read each word, life becomes that much shorter. Breathing is the same. With each breath, life becomes that much closer to death and the narak.

Life is finishing as we do each of these actions. It's very effective. For example when you recite OM MANI PADME HUNG around the rosary, meditate on impermanence and death. As you recite each mantra, you are getting nearer and nearer to death. Meditating on impermanence and death at the same time as you recite the mantra is a very powerful method to practice mindfulness of impermanence and death. Remember again and again that life is passing without time to practice Dharma.

This time last year we could see Lama Yeshe. This year we have no opportunity to see Lama, only ashes, small pieces of relic bones and Lama's clothing. I think there's nothing more needed as an example of impermanence and death. That's sufficient. Relating to myself, my mind should have had some change from Lama's passing away, but it is still so stubborn and thickskulled. There's nothing more needed on the subject of impermanence and death. There's no better example needed than Lama passing away, so that we can't see Lama any more. When we were seeing Lama, he looked truly existent, permanent.

Just to think of Lama passing away should alone be enough to remember that we ourselves are also going, sooner or later. At any time, in one hour on any day we will have to leave this body by some condition, either by disease or something uncertain. It all depends on karma. It can happen by some condition like a car: the road gets filled with blood and you die in hospital. Therefore we need to attempt to have lam rim realizations, to put the most with every effort.

I think that the passing away of our gurus - particularly Lama, the two tutors, and H.H. Serkong Rinpoche - should alone be enough to persuade the mind in Dharma, in impermanence and death. I have about twenty or twenty-two gurus, but now how many of them are left? Most of them have passed away. I had two teachers who taught me the alphabet. One of them was my uncle, who was a gelong but later chose a lay life. Both of them have passed away. Then I had another teacher Gen Yeshe, Geshe Rabten's disciple, who gave me my first teachings on mother kindness from Prajnaparamita, and the first meditation on Gaden Lhagya“ma. Later he took a lay aspect. He has passed away. The abbot who gave me getsul ordination, one extremely respected geshe from Tomo in Tibet, very strict in moral conduct, has also passed away. Then His Holiness's two tutors have passed away. H.H. Serkong Rinpoche has passed away. Lama has passed away. In my visualization of the merit field there are two lines of gurus. In the first line, only H.H. the Dalai Lama is left, and Geshe Rabten and H.H. Song Rinpoche.

Kunnu Lama Rinpoche has also passed away. Serkong Dorje Chang has passed away. I didn't receive any particular teachings from Serkong Dorje Chang, but I visualize him in the merit field as I tried to follow whatever Rinpoche advised. The first time I went to see him, with Zina and Clive, one Englishman, Rinpoche gave incredible teachings on guru devotion. It was so rich and deep, but I didn't understand well. What I remember is that if your guru is sitting on the floor, just think he is Guru Shakyamuni Buddha. That's the essence of what I understood, but otherwise I didn't understand.

We went to see Rinpoche at Swayambunath. One monk came down the steps (I didn't think this was Rinpoche; I thought H.H. Serkong Rinpoche was somebody else) so I told him we wanted to see H.H. Serkong Rinpoche. This monk said: “Oh, not for some time. Wait for some time.” Then this monk went. Later, when we went upstairs, the simple monk who had come down the stairs was H.H. Serkong Dorje Chang sitting on the bed. That day Rinpoche gave incredible teachings, short but unbelievable. Like a thunder bolt, very deep. But all I understood is that when the guru is sitting there on the floor, you think Guru Shakyamuni Buddha is sitting there.

The monks of the monastery in Baudha, because they believed they were Gelukpa, invited H.H. Serkong Dorje Chang there to give nyung ne. One lama has to give the mahayana ordination, and that lama from whom you take mahayana ordination you have to recognize as a guru. The benefactor of the nyung ne had a shop at the stupa, and he asked Tulshig Rinpoche to come. But the monks didn't have much respect for Tulshig Rinpoche because he does Nyingmapa practice. The monks didn't want to take ordination from him; they wanted to take it from Serkong Dorje Chang. So they invited Serkong Dorje Chang.

We were upstairs in the monastery where Rinpoche was staying. They asked us to come down for the nyung ne, so in the early morning we went. I think that was my first experience of nyung ne, after we came from India, from Buxa. Rinpoche came down to give the ordination, bringing the text. He sat down. Then Rinpoche gave the motivation for the ordination. Very short. Very simple. Rinpoche said: “If you really want to practice Dharma, if your guru says: “Lick that kaka!”, then, immediately, while it's hot, you go there and lick it.” Serkong Rinpoche said that is practising Dharma. That's all. That was the motivation. Nothing else. That was Rinpoche's motivation for the mahayana ordination. Rinpoche said this, then left. I think Tulshig Rinpoche said the prayers but he hadn't taken the ordination, so we took it from the altar. Serkong Dorje Chang said this, and then he left. I found he spoke the very essence of Dharma. Showing the heart. I found it very effective.

So I didn't receive any formal set of teachings, just requested and sat down that first day, and then the ordination time. But I always feel in the presence of Rinpoche, no matter what Rinpoche does, no matter whether Rinpoche shows he doesn't know Dharma, no matter how strangely Rinpoche acts, there's no slightest doubt that Rinpoche is Yamantaka. The real Yamantaka. Even though I don't see the aspect Yamantaka, in essence he is the actual Yamantaka, seeing all three times' existence. So even though the teachings were just that, I visualize Serkong Dorje Chang in the merit field.

Serkong Tsenshab Rinpoche has passed away. Now in the second line, that many are gone. Then there's Tulshig Rinpoche and my new guru, Zimey Rinpoche, from Gaden. Gen Jampa Wangdu, who gave me the chulen teaching, has passed away. Gen Nyima from Drepung monastery and Geshe Sopa Rinpoche are still living. The assistant at gelong ordinations has to be regarded as your guru. There were two abbots at my ordination, H.H. Serkong Rinpoche and H.H. Ling Rinpoche, and two advisors. The sangdo”n lopon, the one who asks the questions and gives the twenty advices to a gelong, has to be regarded as one of your lamas. So that was the Bodhgaya umze. Then the most recent guru is Gomo Rinpoche.

So many of them have passed away, but still nothing is happening. My mind is still so unbelievably thickskulled. Even physically they're showing us impermanence and death, just like Guru Shakyamuni Buddha showed us. The same as Lama showed us impermanence and death: his last teaching.

Remember these lines of Lama Tsongkhapa, memorize them and sometimes use them as motivation.

                            ooOoo

Even though there are many practices which we know are great, we find them difficult to put into practice immediately. The block is due to not having the strong thought of impermanence and death, especially of the indefinite time of death. When Manjushri was giving The Three Principles of the Path, he taught how important renunciation is. He used the example of tsampa staying on the top of water. When renunciation is weak, when it's only words and not in the heart, then bodhicitta is also only words. Lama Tsongkhapa also explained about the aversion to samsaric suffering, the true cause of suffering and true suffering, in the four noble truths' section of Lam Rim Chenmo. “If aversion to samsaric suffering is only words, only from the mouth, then the wish to achieve liberation becomes artificial. It's only words.”

Even if you wish to practice and to generate the path, you can't put it into action immediately today, at this minute. The main reason is not having thought well from the depth of the heart,

not having the realization that the actual time of death is indefinite. The whole thing is because of not making the decision to cut off disturbing unsubdued thoughts. The decision to cut off disturbing thoughts is not strong because of not having thought well and realized impermanence and death, especially the indefinite time of death.

Part of the outline of impermanence and death is: life is always decreasing without any addition. Whatever we do, we can relate each action very well with the indefinite time of death. With each action, life gets shorter and shorter, nearer and nearer to death, nearer and nearer to the narak. This way is extremely strong.

Relate even the noise of a clock, the sound of the seconds, to how life is so rapidly getting closer to death and nearer to the narak. Each action can also be frequently related to how each day, hour and minute, life is getting shorter and nearer to death, without getting Dharma practice done. There is no addition to life. It becomes that much more powerful to persuade the mind to practice Dharma. It makes the mind more pure.

The actual time of death is indefinite. On the basis of these three reasons use the examples that you hear every day when listening to the radio and reading newspapers. Then think of those past friends and relatives who have died, especially those sudden deaths. Many people die, not after being sick for a long time like a person with cancer who knows he's going to die soon, but have sudden deaths. They're healthy in the morning but dead in the afternoon. We need to practice awareness.

Either you divide the days for lam rim meditation and spend one day completely on that meditation, or spend one week on each particular meditation. To have the effortless experience, when you train your mind in the meditation of impermanence and death, each day from morning to night, session times and break times, you should constantly train your mind. Take one day for each subject, or one week. Or experiment, trying to generate the realization of each meditation step by step.

Meditate from morning to night, in order to have the realization that the actual time of death is indefinite. Not only think about outside examples that have happened unexpectedly today, of all those people dying today who couldn't find any reason to die today and believe they'll live thirty or forty years more, but also think when you wake up: “This may be the last time I wake up in a human body.” When you put on clothes: “Maybe this is the last time I'll wear clothing. These may not be taken off before death happens.” When you make tea: “I may die before the water boils.”

Constantly relate to each action that death may happen. “Death might happen at any time, so what should be done?” Just thinking that it can happen at any time is not useful. That doesn't solve the problem. The answer is not just practising Dharma, but whatever is the most skilful, beneficial and pure. Whatever is the best. Make the conclusion to practice bodhicitta. That is the answer. The other day when I was talking about how death can happen in any moment, Neil said: “If you really believe this, you won't be able to do anything. Not even go and get your bell from the next room.” You see, if to go to get his bell is the most beneficial thing, then the person will go to get it. Death is going to happen after a few minutes. If the most beneficial thing to do during that time is to get his bell, the person will get it. We will understand that if we remember Lama Tsongkhapa's advice on impermanence and death in Lam Rim Chenmo. The purpose of training the mind in impermanence and death is extremely clear.

You should decide: “I'm going to die today.” If you do actually die today, it's extremely good because by making that determination you accumulate so much merit. Even if you don't die today, it's also great because you made your life meaningful. If you do die it's especially good because you accumulated merit and did purification. “I'm going to die today” never interferes. Lama Tsongkhapa made that part of the impermanence and death teaching very clear. “Just having fear of death is no use, even animals have that.” By making the determination: “I'm going to die today”, if you die, it's good because you've made your life meaningful by making preparation for the happiness of future lives. If you don't die, you've made preparation for future lives by remembering impermanence and death.

The doubt and fear can rise: “If I believe I'm going to die now, this hour, it's disturbing myself rather than benefiting.” That doubt is from not having thought well on the purpose of meditating on impermanence and death, and not having seen Lama Tsongkhapa's clear explanation on it.

The third outline is nothing benefits at the time of death except Dharma. For us who have met Buddhadharma, practising Dharma is the solution. That is the only thing which can benefit at the time of death. The answer is there. Whether death is going to happen or not, you can see that body, possessions and everything else can't benefit. If death is actually going to happen, if you're going to have a heart attack, practice refuge at that time. You have to remember whatever you understand of the different levels of teaching, whatever you're able to practice of the different meditation techniques, whatever you know. That is the solution.

This outline is not only answering the question: “What should be done if you believe death is going to happen?” It's not only answering that. When death is actually happening - something sudden: an earthquake, getting paralyzed - all you can do is practice the Dharma you know. Take refuge to Dharma, and mentally rely on Dharma. This is the answer. Nothing of the three [possessions, friends and body] benefits, only Dharma. If death is going to happen after one hour, after one minute, there's nothing else. In this way a person who has met and understands the mahayana secret mantra way of practice, and who thinks he is going to die today, will continuously do the most beneficial and skilful practice he knows.

In this perfect human rebirth, if you don't generate the lam rim path, no matter what other action you do, like social service, your life is wasted. Even though these other actions are good and virtuous, they're not the main thing to make your life highly meaningful. If you don't get to generate lam rim in this life, especially to train your mind in bodhicitta, even if you spend your life doing virtuous actions, your life is kind of wasted. The most important thing is left out: the very essence, the quick way to accomplish both the works for yourself and other sentient beings, to free all sentient beings from their sufferings and lead them to enlightenment. The most important thing is left out.

It's like in Bodhicharyavatara: “There's no comparison between the virtue accumulated by practising bodhicitta, and other virtues accumulated without bodhicitta.” Generating lam rim realizations with bodhicitta is like eating the inside of a banana. Doing other things, even these other virtuous actions, without training the mind in lam rim, without bodhicitta, is like eating the banana skin. Thinking: “I'll die. At any hour I might die”, would cause a person who knows how to practice mahayana sutra and tantra to do only the best, most skilful Dharma practice.

                            ooOoo

After thinking about that part of impermanence and death, think: “As I've accumulated so many negative karmas, it's definite I'll be born in the lower realms. There are only two ways, up or down, no third way, so I'll definitely be born in the narak. If I'm born in the narak, there's no way to practice Dharma. I can't work for myself or others. I'll only be overwhelmed by my sufferings. Therefore I'll constantly practice and train my mind in bodhicitta. Especially I'm going to practice Yamantaka yoga which, by practising, uncountable numbers of yogis achieved enlightenment in one brief life.”

All the true suffering comes from the true cause of suffering. Not only our own suffering, but the whole world's. People try to have meetings to bring harmony, but it's difficult. It's so difficult to bring harmony just between a family or a couple; even if they try to talk and bring harmony, it's so difficult. It's even more difficult to bring harmony and peace between countries. Our minds are so solid and stubborn, like rocky mountains, and incredibly overwhelmed by selfish thoughts. You can't do anything. It's so difficult to change, and for the other person to listen. The other person doesn't stop harming and causing problems. The mind is sort of indestructible, unchangeable anger, indestructible self-cherishing thought.

Look at the whole world. Be aware of the whole world. How increasingly difficult it is to stop all the fighting. To not have anger in people is unbelievably difficult. You can't see delusions by eye and you can't touch them. They're not substantial, but they're unbelievably harder than a rocky mountain. You should watch and be aware of how difficult it is to stop the world's problems. The whole problem comes from I grasping, ignorance holding the I as truly existent. The whole thing is not the mistake of the I appearing as truly existent, but believing it as 100% truly existent. The whole world's problems come from that. All your problems, and the problems and unhappiness you cause others, the whole world's problems come from that.

You should have much fear on thinking a lot about true suffering: the three types of suffering (as much as you can recognize), your own suffering and others' suffering. Try to relate it as much as possible to the ignorance of true existence. Try to see clearly how delusion is rising on the basis of ignorance. By clearly thinking this way of all the shortcomings of the wrong conception of true existence, relating everything to this, more and more fear comes. Like we have fear of an outside enemy, of someone who's going to give problems to us, who's going to steal our passports and money, or shoot and kill us.

Why don't we have perseverance? Why are we careless even though we're able to accept it as a wrong conception? Why can't we keep awareness, without letting ourselves under the control of ignorance? All the time we live our lives under the control of ignorance. All the time uncontrollably believing the I and aggregates are truly existent. Why can't we practice? Why don't we get strong fear like we have fear of a poison which causes death, or fear of an outside enemy? We don't even get as much fear of anger, attachment and other disturbing thoughts, especially the wrong conception, as we do of poison or an outside enemy. We don't get any fear or aversion.

It's because we haven't thought well. It has become our belief, but we haven't thought strongly from our hearts. We accepted that the whole samsara, all the problems, come from the wrong conception, but we didn't feel strongly from the heart. We're careless. We don't even get as much fear of self-grasping as we get with an outside enemy. It's scary. It becomes a subject to speak about. We don't feel it from our hearts as an enemy. We don't have any fear because we don't see and feel that the wrong conception is an enemy. We don't feel that it's harming and destroying us.

The mind is very weak, and also careless. We know the I is a dependent arising but we're unable to practice awareness constantly. If you continuously practice subtle dependent arising, even gross dependent arising, you don't get overwhelmed by the ignorance of the truly existent I. Why don't we practice this? Why doesn't it happen easily? Even if we try to concentrate, it lasts only a short time. The mind goes so easily under the control of the ignorance of the truly existent I. It's been so strongly habituated in previous lifetimes. Even though we can accept the words, we don't feel from our hearts how all the suffering, all the world's problems and the six realms' suffering, come from ignorance clinging to the I as truly existent.

This is from not having trained the mind in the meditation on how true suffering and true cause of suffering, all the problems, come from holding the I as truly existent. We haven't thought well and often. The wrong conception of true existence becomes almost a friend. For us, our main enemy, the wrong conception of true existence, becomes like a friend. Inseparable, like water and tea, water and milk.

It's very effective to think that all the terrifying world problems come from this. At first fear comes, then aversion. “If I don't follow ignorance and if I practice awareness that the I is a dependent arising, merely labeled on these aggregates, right now this is the cause of liberation. If I let myself be under the control of the ignorance of true existence and if I don't practice awareness of dependent arising, I'm creating the root of samsara.” Right now, this minute, there are these differences.

It's very important to have as much fear and aversion to grasping at true existence as possible. Not cutting off the wrong conception is the whole problem. By cutting off this one thing, the wrong conception, all problems stop. The more you see the wrong conception as the enemy and the more you realize how harmful it is, the more fear comes: strong fear like we feel for an outside enemy or a poisonous snake. Realize how harmful it is, and that much determination comes. You get an incredible shock, and then the decision comes to actually cut this wrong conception.

The poisonous snake doesn't become the root of samsara, the cause of all problems, all the disturbing thoughts, and all sufferings of the six realms. An enemy shooting and killing me isn't the cause of all the six realms' suffering, the cause of problems to others. If you don't have the wrong conception of true existence, even if someone shoots you, it doesn't become the cause of the lower realms. You wouldn't be born in the narak.

As Bodhicharyavatara says: “Even if all sentient beings rise as your enemy, they cannot lead you to the narak fire.” Atomic danger, fire, an outside enemy killing you, and poisonous snakes are nothing compared to the harm of the wrong conception of true existence. Those outside harms that people are normally scared of are nothing. If there's no wrong conception, they can't give harm or injure you. This is more dangerous than anything else. Fire, earthquake and disease - cancer and all those things - are nothing. People are so scared of getting disease, of even going near that person with disease. That is nothing. If you don't have the karma created by the wrong conception of the truly existent I, you don't get the disease.

Think in many ways like this. “There's nothing more dangerous, there's no greater enemy than this. I should be most careful and cautious of this. The other harms that people of the whole world are so afraid of are nothing. All outside harms come from this wrong conception, so this is what I should be most careful of all day, all the time. There's nothing more scary and more dangerous than this ignorance of the truly existent I. It's the most harmful.”

Make the determination: “I'm going to practice dependent arising continuously, without letting myself under the control of this enemy, ignorance. I'm going to practice dependent arising continuously.” The more you think this way, the more fear arises at the thought of true existence, and the more wish and perseverance to practice dependent arising are generated. In this way you're able to realize sunyata.

I think the main point is renunciation of the true cause of suffering. If you don't let yourself under the control of the ignorance of the truly existent I, you're naturally protected from the other harms of the six root delusions and twenty secondary delusions. By protecting yourself from this wrong conception, you are protected from many other harms or delusions. Everything comes from the wrong conception of true existence. Try to rise fear from your heart. When somebody explains how dangerous poison is, we get great fear and are unable to touch it, are even scared to be around it. Make a determination like that.

Think: “I'm going to practice the two bodhicittas: dependent arising and bodhicitta. I'm going to practice Yamantaka yoga which, by practising, uncountable numbers of great yogis have achieved enlightenment in one brief lifetime. I'm going to practice just like they did. I'm going to practice tantra on top of the two bodhicittas.” In sessions and breaktimes practice the two bodhicittas with tantra on top.

For the bodhicitta part, it's very important to think as much as possible why you should benefit sentient beings. Think of many reasons in as many different ways as possible, such as:

1) By doing the works for others the works for self are also accomplished, and the other way around. The ultimate work for yourself is to completely purify and complete all the qualities. Without doing works for others, you're unable to complete the works for self. By completing the works for yourself, you can complete the works for others.

2) As H.H. the Dalai Lama often says: “What is called oneself is only one; others are uncountable.”

3) Great equanimity: all sentient beings are desiring happiness and not desiring suffering.

4) In Lama Cho“pa it says: “The small child is doing works only for himself. Guru Shakyamuni Buddha and the mighty ones are doing only works for others. By realizing the qualities of the one and the shortcomings of the other, please grant me blessings to be able to equalize myself with others.” By cherishing myself from beginningless lives till now, I'm still a child. Guru Shakyamuni Buddha and all the three times' Buddhas became enlightened by cherishing others.

5) From my own side, my own reason: other sentient beings are extremely kind. They've all been my mother. From my own side, I should help to free them from suffering and lead them to enlightenment.

6) From the other side, their side: as I'm dependent on them, they're dependent on me. Their happiness depends on me, so I should free them from suffering and lead them to enlightenment. There are many reasons, many different ways I should help other sentient beings.

What's needed is ultimate happiness: the highest, longest and best happiness. Even if sentient beings don't know the name “nirvana” or “enlightenment”, what they need is the highest everlasting longest happiness, enlightenment. Generate bodhicitta like this: I will achieve enlightenment for the sake of sentient beings.

After that, generate the strongest special bodhicitta in order to practice tantra. If your own kind mother or father, towards whom you feel much compassion and loving kindness, fell in the fire, how would you feel? Unbearable. Start by remembering the three types of suffering that sentient beings are experiencing, especially pervasive suffering. Try to feel it as so unbearable. Try to feel like that with every sentient being who's continuously experiencing the three types of suffering, continually experiencing at least one just by having obscurations. “Therefore I'm going to practice the Yamantaka yoga that an uncountable number of great yogis have practiced to achieve enlightenment the quick way.”

After generating bodhicitta, it's very good to make the determination of how you're going to act now: “I'm going to cherish sentient beings more than Buddhas, enemies more than friends, others more than myself, and suffering more than happiness.” Make these four things a plan for your life. Every morning after generating bodhicitta, make this determination of how you're going to spend your life. Plan like this and put it into practice so there is no obstacle to your Dharma practice.

After the chulen, I asked Gen Jampa Wangdu for the advice called gegtsel pogdo”n. It's like cho“, a special technique to recognize the refuting object and then realize sunyata. Gegtsel quickly stops interferences, and pogdon is a quick way to actualize. I asked Geshe-la to give me the advice of gegtsel pogdo”n to generate the whole path. Geshe-la made a little joke: “Actually, maybe you can explain lam rim better than me, but gegtsel pogdo”n is to always practice the remedy to the self-cherishing thought. All the time. You see the self-cherishing thought as the enemy as much as possible.“ I don't remember every single word, every detail.

I think Geshe-la may have said: “Try to blame the whole problem, whatever happens, on the self-cherishing thought.” You get the self-cherishing thought as the enemy. He used the example of himself. “Nowadays I'm wearing rich robes of good color like this. If I wear simple poor robes many people think I don't have money. Before, many people used to bring offerings to me but now that I wear rich robes and good shoes not so many people come. They also don't like that I wear them. They think that now I have enough money and fewer people come to make offerings.”

Geshe Tobgya”, who was helping during Gen Jampa Wangdu's funeral time, lived in a hermitage on the mountain. Nowadays he doesn't live there; he lives in town, working for other people, passing messages. Everyone complains: “Oh, Gen Tobgya” is no good. He doesn't live up there. He's no good.“ Everyone thinks it's not good that he's moved down. They think he should stay up there. Gen Tobgya” purposely stayed down because people complained. I think Gen Jampa Wangdu and Gen Tobgya“ are quite good, and open to each other. I think they understand each other very well.

At the beginning, when you don't see the self-cherishing thought as an enemy, you are upset when a person criticizes you. You become unhappy with that person. Later it changes completely the other way around. Someone who criticizes you becomes a remedy to the enemy, the self-cherishing thought. They're so precious. Instead of being angry with them, you like that person so much. You become so happy. That's what Geshe-la said. In that way anger doesn't rise. In Dharma practice, the greatest interference for generating bodhicitta, and for our happiness, is anger. Anger doesn't rise, so there's no interference to Dharma practice. You're able to generate realizations more quickly. That's what Gen-la advised.

Generate strong bodhicitta motivation at the beginning, as we go over the sadhana, and especially during the recitation time. Again and again you should think: “Am I reciting this for myself, or for other sentient beings?” Ask yourself. Check again and again. “Am I doing this retreat for me, or for other sentient beings? Just to finish something planned, the commitment?” While reciting mantra, think again and again: “I'm reciting this mantra for every single narak being, preta being, every animal and human being.” Occasionally check your attitude. Try to think: “I'm doing this practice for others.” If your attitude in doing the practice is the self-cherishing thought, change from that. “This retreat is not for me. It's purely for other sentient beings.”

                            ooOoo

What you should do, first of all, is generate strong renunciation and strong thought of impermanence and death, that you're going to die this year, this month, this week. Make the conclusion that this perfect human rebirth, so highly meaningful and difficult to find, can be lost this night, even during this session. “What I should do is train my mind in the two bodhicittas. Especially, I should train my mind in maha-anuttara yoga for the benefit of all kind mother sentient beings.”

The whole world's problems, in India, in Tibet, all the three types of suffering, come from ignorance grasping at a truly existent I. Therefore there is nothing more dangerous than ignorance believing the I is truly existent. It is the most dangerous. More dangerous than an atom bomb or a poisonous snake. What is to be practiced is that the I is merely labeled, dependent, empty. Then on that practice maha-anuttara yoga for the benefit of all kind mother sentient beings.

The self-cherishing thought interferes in realizing sunyata. It causes us to cling to samsaric perfections; it interferes in having renunciation of samsara. It's extremely dangerous and harmful. Even if you are able to directly see sunyata, if you don't change your mind from the selfish attitude, it's not the cause of enlightenment. If you don't have the selfish attitude, if you have bodhicitta and are exchanging yourself for others, even if you don't have the wisdom realizing sunyata, whatever you do becomes the cause of enlightenment. So it's much better; it has incredible advantages.

“All problems come from my mistakes. All sufferings come from me. All happiness comes from others. All the three times' happiness of myself, each sentient being gives me.” Think about those evolutions, those outlines. Think how they are suffering. “I will lead all sentient beings to enlightenment, and free them from suffering by myself alone.” Think: “I have the opportunity to help them this time, and they don't have the opportunity from their side. From the outside, they didn't receive all the conditions and, from the inside, they themselves don't follow the path.” Generate great compassion and love. “I need to achieve enlightenment.” Think how they are suffering. Remember that all beings are under the control of karma and are experiencing pervading suffering. Feel that it's like being in a fire. Feel that it's so unbearable. You can't bear them suffering for even a second in samsara. “I can't stand even one sentient being suffering for even one second under the control of disturbing unsubdued thoughts and pervading karma.”

Humans are infinite; pretas are infinite; narak beings are infinite. How unbearable it is! It's something you can't stand without achieving enlightenment even this hour, or minute. You can't stand them suffering, not even one sentient being. Therefore conclude: “I'm going to practice this maha-anuttara method. Uncountable numbers of yogis practiced this, and so many achieved enlightenment in one brief lifetime. I'm going to practice today. How fortunate I am to be able to practice this maha-anuttara method.” Repeat this three or four times, then start the Yamantaka sadhana. Make ten minutes of motivation before the session like this.

Yamantaka